What No One Tells You About Top Surgery
(Constipation, Crying, and Not Wiping Your Butt)
There’s a lot of content out there about top surgery… diagrams, before-and-afters, packing lists, chest reveals filled with euphoria.
But not enough people talk about the weird stuff. The stuff that catches you off guard when you’re already sore and high on pain meds. So here’s a post about the less glamorous parts of healing, the ones I wish someone had warned me about.
1. The First Post-Op Poop Might Make You See Stars
The combination of shock, not moving as much, and medication, means you will be constipated. I’m talking days without going, followed by a bowel movement so traumatic you might thing you’re going to pass out.
This is why your surgical team gives you laxatives. Take them. Hydrate. Eat fibre. Don’t try to “push through it” like a stoic little trans warrior. Trust the medication.
2. You Might Cry. A Lot. For No Clear Reason.
Even if this is the surgery you’ve dreamed about for years. Even if you’re 100% sure. Even if it went “perfectly”.
You still just put your body through trauma.
You might burst into tears randomly.. from pain, from exhaustion, from not being able to open a jar of peanut butter. I had moments where I couldn’t tell if I was crying from grief, joy, or hormonal chaos (it was all of them).
Give yourself permission to fall apart a little. This doesn’t mean you regret anything. It just means you're human.
3. Wiping Your Butt May be a Group Project
You don’t realise how much you use your arms until you can’t lift them above a few inches.
Going to the bathroom becomes… complicated.
If you have a support person, amazing. If not, you might have to improvise. Wet wipes, bidets, long-handled toilet aids (yes, they exist), or just a moment of creativity and surrender. There’s no shame in needing help. Honestly, vulnerability is a huge part of this process.
4. Nerves Are Weird (Like... Scratch-Your-Elbow-to-Itch-Your-Nipple Weird)
As your body heals, the nerves start coming back online - and they do it on their own terms. One day, you might feel like ants are crawling under your skin. Another day, your nipple might start itching, but scratching it does nothing. So you scratch your elbow instead. And weirdly, it helps.
It makes zero logical sense. But your nervous system doesn’t care about logic. It’s rewiring itself. Just roll with it.
5. Boredom Can Be a Minefield - Especially if You’ve Got a Past
Recovery can be really quiet. You’re not allowed to do much. You scroll. You nap. You eat. You watch the same show three times. In that silence, if you’re someone with a history of self-harming, disordered eating, addiction, or any flavour of numbing — that stuff might bubble up.
Not because you’re failing. But because stillness can be confronting.
Try to prepare for that discomfort before surgery if you can. Set up distractions, line up support, journal if that’s your thing. Be kind to your future self. They're gonna need it.
Top surgery is a big, messy, beautiful, uncomfortable deal. It’s okay if your healing doesn’t look like the tidy, upbeat stories online. You’re not ungrateful or broken because your nipples itch, your butt hurts, and you cried into your cereal.
You're just recovering.
And if no one told you this stuff? Now they have. You’re welcome 😚
PS. I have a surgery checklist I created to make recovery more streamlined! If you’d like to download it, click this link.